Parents and Youth Athletics – A Perspective
I lost my temper this weekend. I just had to speak up. You see, the past 2 weekends, I’ve attended 3 youth soccer tournaments. Granted, this is not normal, but it exposed me to some behaviors that I feel must be changed.
One of the worst offenders of the weekend was a coach, it’s 8:15 in the morning, temperature in the low 40’s, kids have been on the field since 7am, in the DARK, and he’s yelling at an 8 year old girl “……, you are not working hard enough!!!!”. If I were that child’s mother I would have calmly walked around the field, socked that man in the nose, and then pulled my daughter off the field to go home.
But it’s not the coaches that have me riled up, it’s the parents. I’ve been on sidelines of various sports both competitive, recreational, and even professional, and for both boys and girls for around 10 years now, so I feel like I’ve seen enough to make a statement.
Sadly, the people who really need to see this, won’t. And even if they do, they won’t see themselves. But, maybe if I put it out there, one person might change, and I can at least get it out of my head.
So here’s my pebble in the pond.
Your job as a parent of a young Athlete is fairly straight forward-
-get the kid to practice….. make sure they have the needed equipment and WATER. If it’s cold… a pullover or sweats… if it’s hot…LOTS of WATER. Fed and rested is a bonus.
-get the kid to games…make sure they are ON TIME. If the coach wants them there an hour early, be there an hour early. They NEED to have their uniform. All parts of their uniform. Double check. You don’t want to drive an hour to a game and find that you left the shoes at home.
-sit on the sidelines and cheer…. Not shout, not coach, not berate the referee, not criticize the coach, not yell at other parents, CHEER for your child and his or her team mates. Be encouraging.
-and when the game is over…. Win or Lose…. You give your kid a hug or a big smile or a high five or whatever you do to let them know that you enjoyed watching them do their best. Be sympathetic, or enthusiastic. Don’t say something along the lines of “what were you doing out there?” “you looked asleep!”, “you played like crap!”. Someone has to win, someone has to lose. It’s part of life. Messi doesn’t score every time he shoots at the goal, Joe Montana didn’t get every pass completed, and Kobe doesn’t sink every free throw.
Parent behavior on the side lines has been awful. Parents coaching their kids, screaming at their 8 year old children to “move forward”, “get back”, “run”, “you’re out of position”, “get over there”. I’ve seen parents of 14 year olds stalk up and down the field while shouting instructions for an ENTIRE GAME. Your kids have a coach. Read that again. YOUR KIDS HAVE A COACH. The coach has instructed them what to do during the game. If your child is not doing that, the coach will correct the child. Getting screamed at by mom and dad will not fix the kid. It will confuse the kid. I’ve seen kids stop playing and say “what dad?” while the ball goes by…..Sometimes coaches want to see certain things from their players during the game, maybe a certain type of pass or move, who knows. You won’t get the memo. Deal with it. Paying for coaching doesn’t entitle you to special privileges… you are still just a parent on the sidelines.
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